


Playing the 4'33"

by fallouise



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Bandori Secret Santa 2018, Christmas, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Validation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 18:04:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17146496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallouise/pseuds/fallouise
Summary: Rinko Shirokane knows the largest thing holding her back is herself. The weight of it pulls her down, her thoughts spiral out of her control, and she can't help it. But with the holidays approaching, Rinko soon learns that the kindness she extends to others should also be given to herself.Bandori Secret Santa 2018.





	Playing the 4'33"

**Author's Note:**

> This was written from @Ermininia on Twitter!!  
> I'm your Secret Santa! Whoo-hoo!!! Thank you for giving me the chance to give Rinko some love.

Rinko’s character rag dolled across the map.

The legs hit a wall, sending the body into somersaults until finally rolling to a stop. The old renegade soldier character laid face first on the ground now, with the number 76 on the back of his jacket almost pleading others to remember that he should have been something to fear. Under the unsteady reflexes of Rinko, however, Soldier: 76 was nothing but a moving practice target.

_You were eliminated by TankOneTrickLUL_.

She could only watch as the camera then zoomed to the enemy character that dealt the killing blow, a large German man in knight armor who swung an equally giant hammer. The enemy spammed a voice line over and over. Whether that was from gusto or bravado, she couldn’t tell, but Rinko was beginning to realize that was just the kind of personalities that Reinhardt players had.

“I’ll avenge you, Rinrin-!!” The other girl on the Discord call said with determination.

“Ako-chan, be careful,” Rinko started, but it was too late as she clicked through the death spectating camera. She stopped at Ako’s character—a black-robed terrorist named Reaper who hid his identity behind an owl mask—as she dropped down from a high ledge onto the objective. She focused down the tanky Reinhardt with all the might of two shotguns, until she realized that the entire enemy team knew where she was. A shield bubble surrounded the Reinhardt, a biotic grenade splashed at everyone’s feet, and an arrow landed solidly on Reaper’s back.

With one more swing of the Rein’s hammer, Ako’s character was swept to the side, falling to the same fate as Rinko.

“Nooo!! The descended agent of darkness to have been struck down by this, by this…!” Ako’s voice swelled in emotion, but she couldn’t find her words as the enemy started rushing to the second objective. They were hoping to snowball the first fight into a final victory.

Rinko’s character respawned, and she used the soldier’s dash ability to hurry onto high ground. They were MMO players at heart, ready to grind hours for the rarest of monster drops or to plan the perfect dungeon crawl. Ako and Rinko liked games for the camaraderie, the story. So, while a first-person shooter game like Overwatch had fun and colorful characters, none of that prepared them for the eye-hand coordination that this game demanded of them.

“Get point, Ako-chan! I-I’ll use my ultimate,” Rinko called, poking at one of the enemies’ supports that lagged behind the rest of the team. Ako squeaked out a confirmation as her Reaper moved onto point unharmed with a wraith form.

At least this part was the most like an MMO—getting the healers first. “The Zenyatta! Zen!! Zen!” Ako chanted, a manic energy getting the best of her. Good, that was the support that Rinko was already shooting at. With their two characters focusing this single target and the rest of the team brawling it out with the rest of the enemies, they knocked out their highest priority.

“I’m going for it!” Rinko remembered to tell Ako at the last moment.

She pressed the ultimate key. Soldier: 76 switched on his tactical visor. With this, reticles appeared on each of the enemies in her field of vision, as her character began to automatically shoot at the nearest target. The enemy tanks scrambled to find the source of danger, realizing with dismay that Rinko had the high ground. She directed the rifle towards the remaining support, eliminating the Ana within a matter of seconds.

“Yes!! Rinrin, nice one!” Ako shouted in her excitement. Rinko used the rest of her ultimate to whittle down the tanks and scare off the opposing Hanzo, but she didn’t dare release her breath until it was clear the other team was retreating.

“Ako,” Rinko recognized Tomoe’s voice as the older sister entered Ako’s room. “Mom already asked you to use your inside voice, didn’t she?”

“But I can’t help it…”

Ako pulled aside her headset to talk to Tomoe, and Rinko took that moment to smile. When she and Ako still spent most of their time together at internet cafes, Ako made sure to keep the volume of her voice in check, not wanting to disturb a public area. At home, however, Ako had no such constraints. If anything, comfortably being at home only served to bolster Ako’s energy.

When Ako readjusted her mic again, she used Reaper’s Shadow Step ability to teleport the character to high ground beside Rinko’s Soldier: 76. The girl continued to speak in high spirits, as if she hadn’t just been reprimanded, saying, “Anyway, I knew we’d do well on DPS together! Reaper and Soldier are old friends, right, and know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, so it makes sense that playing them together works.”

The enemy Hanzo lingered near the cherry blossom tree outside of the building, letting loose stray arrows from his bow. A few hit Ako, since she wasn’t moving her character while speaking, so Rinko dropped her healing station. Being able to heal allies atop of being the counterpart to Ako’s main was the reason she chose Soldier: 76 to begin with.

The prospect of maining DPS and having to confirm kills, though, was not as appealing to Rinko. The more she thought about it, the more she thought about how the team relied on the DPS the most to deal the damage. And carrying that responsibility wasn’t very appealing to Rinko in any way. “I think… I might stay with support characters, after all.”

“Aw,” Ako clearly pouted the word, even though Rinko couldn’t see her, but the girl soon bounced back with, “that’s okay, so long as we get to keep playing together. My Reaper gets along with everyone!!”

“I don’t think that’s how his character works, Ako-chan…” Rinko laughed softly as the enemy team attempted to push in once more.

If it was Ako, Rinko never worried about saying the wrong thing.

Focusing on the game again, Overwatch had another major difference from MMO’s, and it was in momentum. With dungeon crawling, there was no shame in taking the time at a safe point to recuperate. But competitive FPS games were ruled by time constraints, and the other team struggled to properly group up. Three minutes soon passed without a true engagement by the enemies, and not even the desperate charge and hammer of the eager Reinhardt during overtime could put up much of a fight.

“This is for killing Rinrin back at first poooint!” Ako declared, pulling the trigger on the final headshot to the Reinhardt. The voice line spamming halted. The overtime meter plummeted, the word  _Victory_ flashed onto the screen, and just like that, Rinko and Ako won a match.

Rinko felt her shoulders relax as Ako pulled them out of that match to immediately queue up for another quick play game. Perhaps it was with how immediate of a reaction that FPS games demanded of its players, or how little factors like positioning and timing could determine a player’s fate more than their ability to aim, but the adrenaline rush that she found herself swept up with in each game rivaled the stress she felt playing MMO’s. She couldn’t see herself playing Overwatch without Ako around.

“Thank you… for sticking up for me back there,” Rinko murmured as their queue time hit the minute mark.

“Huh? Oh!” Ako perked up at her words. “All the evil forces in the world couldn’t stop me from having the back of my most reliable ally! And anyway, you were the one who set up the cool Soldier ult. You were all— _pew pew_! And that Ana didn’t know what was coming to them, and that Rein…!”

Ako continued her reimagination of their last match, and Rinko smiled, happy to follow along. Talking to Ako like this, where the girl never expected her to speak any more than she was comfortable with, this was easy. Ako might be as naïve as any kid her age and she wasn’t the best with her words, but the words she did use were always kind.

“… And to top it all off, I got to avenge you. It’s because of the wicked, unstoppable power of friendship! Or something cool like that.”

“I think it’s cool, Ako-chan,” she confirmed in a quiet voice.

“Yay! I do too,” Ako followed up, and Rinko could hear the girl’s smile in her voice as if they were speaking to each other in person.

It was so easy to get along with Ako. It may simply be who Ako was every day, wearing her heart on her sleeve, and most times Rinko didn’t think twice about her friendship with the girl. Today, though, Rinko did have a reason as to why her friendship with Ako especially struck out to her.

With that thought, she remembered what would be happening tomorrow. It wasn’t life risking, and it wasn’t going to determine the fate of the world, no, but for Rinko, it did feel just as insurmountable. It felt like the start to a race, muscles tensing for the starting shot. But the shot never rang, and Rinko was alone, tense and stewing in her thoughts. If they were placed in a game right then, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to play.

But Ako was no mind reader, despite her claims of black magic. Rinko had to be the one to speak up.

“A-Ako-chan? Do you think… we can… stop the queue?” Rinko balanced the words. Any slightest movement or sudden thoughts would topple everything down, and then she wouldn’t be able to do anything, much less talk to Ako.

The notification box for queue time disappeared immediately.

“I stopped it,” the girl did so without hesitation. “Is everything okay over there?”

“I’m okay. Just… overthinking a little, I guess?” Rinko wasn’t in any immediate danger or anything. The more she thought about it, the more it felt like she was overreacting. It wasn’t too late to apologize and tell Ako they could queue again, right? “But thank you… for stopping the queue.”

Rinko frowned at herself.

“Thanks for asking,” Ako spoke as if all was right with the world. “Do you want to talk about it, or do you need some space?”

“Oh! Um…”

Ako lived in a different world after all. She lived with a family that encouraged her to speak her mind and follow her interests. She grew up excited about the world around her, a stark contrast to how scared Rinko often felt. It was why she admired Ako so much—the girl let herself be happy, no matter how others saw her.

Rinko rolled her computer chair backwards, looking down at the floor. She crossed her left foot over her right at the ankles. Then she alternated it. She did it once more.

It would be nice if Rinko could be a part of the world that Ako lived in, someday.

There wasn’t a starting shot, but Rinko started walking.

“I… I’m meeting with Uehara-san and Imai-san tomorrow,” she began, only to find that she didn’t know how to continue. The issue wasn’t physical. Explaining that wouldn’t be so easy. “I’m glad they invited me, but…”

“I think I did hear Lisa-nee mention something like that,” Ako hummed.

“W-We’ll be exchanging gifts between the three of us. It should… be fun,” Rinko ventured, rolling her chair back to the desk. The Lucio on the Overwatch main menu smiled at her.

“But there’s something worrying you about tomorrow?” the other girl guessed at.

“Yes,” Rinko appreciated how much Ako wanted to understand. She wanted to help Ako know her more in turn. “H… Have you ever felt like something about yourself didn’t fit in?”

“I,” Ako paused. She considered the scenario for another moment. “I guess I’ve never felt like I was left out of things. Do you feel that way, Rinrin?”

Rinko could not have been more grateful that they were speaking through a Discord call, where Ako couldn’t see her face and she couldn’t see Ako’s reactions. Her face felt warm from embarrassment. Or shame, or an awful mix of both. “I do… It feels like everyone can see that part of myself, even though I know they can’t. Some part of my head is convinced of it, though.”

“Oh,” was all that Ako responded with.

For a moment, Rinko thought that her closest friend wouldn’t be able to understand her. The prospect of that scared Rinko much more than anything else. “I-It’s not that imp—”

“Like a puzzle piece!” she exclaimed.

“Huh?”

“Hehe, well. You were talking about it like it was a real thing I could see and hold onto, so I started thinking, ‘I wonder what it’d look like’, and then. Puzzle pieces!” Ako was quick on the uptake. “With a jigsaw puzzle, things are supposed to fit together, right?”

“You’re right…” Rinko let the thought hang in the air. Jigsaw puzzles meant that things fit together. “and it’s like I’m… carrying a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit anywhere.”

The more she worked through it, the more it made sense. Conversations from any given day would follow her. Thoughts of what she could’ve said or done better would mock her. Sometimes her mind would blank from having too many of these thoughts in her head, and it was as if she’d lost her jigsaw puzzle to begin with, unable to connect with people her age in the ways she wanted to. Most times it was as if none of them noticed how lost she felt. Other times, it felt like everyone knew.

And when those other times happened, Rinko’s throat constricted. She wanted to apologize, even though she hadn’t done anything wrong, at least from what she could tell.

“Does it make you feel lonely?” Ako asked the question in a small voice.

Her immediate answer would have been yes.

But hearing how much Ako wanted to understand had the opposite effect on Rinko. If anything, it felt like someone had reached a hand out to her. Rinko extended an arm towards the outstretched hand.

“I used to be very lonely,” Rinko admitted. “but now I’m friends with you, and the rest of Roselia. And I don’t feel so isolated anymore.”

“I’m happy you feel that way! I hope you get to keep feeling it,” Ako said, the relief evident in her voice. Rinko felt the same. Maybe it was because of Ako, but sharing her feelings, having others understand her—that was what friendship was, right? “So, are you saying you’re worried about tomorrow?”

“Something like that,” Rinko confessed. “I guess even when I know things will be okay… or I know nothing could go wrong, I still  _feel_ like something will happen? I don’t know if that makes sense…”

A small voice in Rinko’s head pondered if there was a limit to how much Ako’s kindness would extend. There would be a point where Ako wouldn’t understand, and would laugh at how silly Rinko was acting, or brush aside her worries. She knew it was a lie. Yet the fear lingered, as insistently as if it were a shadow.

That was why talking to Ako was better than staying in her head.

“Hm… it’s something you think about a lot, huh,” Ako brought their duo in Overwatch into a private custom game. They liked to place themselves in a Skirmish match, to explore the maps and all their details without the pressure of playing the objective. “it’s a little hard when what you think and what you feel are two different things.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Rinko acquiesced. Their characters dropped base at Busan. A karaoke mic stood front and center, and Ako directed Reaper to the microphone immediately.

“Wahh!” Ako pretended to yell into the mic. “I don’t really know how to help you, Rinrin, but I’m here for you!! You should text me if you need anything tomorrow. I’ll run over, I swear.”

Rinko selected Lucio, skating towards the nearest wall and skidding across it.

She wasn’t sure what it meant for tomorrow. She still felt dread creeping up her body, unsure of how so many things could go. But having spoken to Ako, to someone who wanted to know more because she cared for her wellbeing? There was something concrete in that. Rinko felt her lips tug into a smile.

“Thank you, Ako-chan… It means a lot.”

…

The following day, Rinko couldn’t keep up with the conversation.

It wasn’t that she didn’t have anything to say. They met up at a family restaurant for brunch, and after eating Lisa and Himari began talking about what they’d done over the weekend, with Christmas fast approaching. It should have been easy to insert herself in. And yet, Rinko found herself curling up into herself, fiddling with her hands in her lap.

Himari was describing Afterglow’s preparations for an end of the year party, and each member’s attempt to outdo the others for most extravagant act. It somehow involved Moca cashing in all her Yamabuki Bakery coupons, and Tsugumi bringing leftovers from her family’s café. And Lisa was quick to react and respond, mentioning a dance club performance and how her family planned to bake cookies together for Christmas.

“Yukina should be coming over too! I’ll send you pictures of how hers go,” Lisa laughed, her feet swinging beneath the table.

“Hohh,” Himari hummed in awe. “I guess it’s different when it’s childhood friends, but for Yukina-san to spend Christmas with your family— that’s amazing! That’s soo domestic of you two!! Almost as if…”

The younger girl winked at Lisa once, then again, and one last time, each time exaggerating the motion even further. Rinko sunk into her seat, trying not to call attention to herself. How was she supposed to enter the conversation? There was never an easy entry point, and the longer she held out for one, the less she felt comfortable with it. The two girls were already engrossed. Squeezing her way in would just be painfully, excruciatingly obvious.

“It’s not like that!” Lisa waved a hand at Himari, her face heating up. Her embarrassment soon gave way to a different emotion on her face, growing into a playful grin. “at least, not yet.”

“Oh my God. I knew it. I  _knew_ it,” Himari leaned across the table to jab a finger accusingly at Lisa. “How many years has it been, anyway?”

Was she talking about how close Lisa and Yukina were? Rinko had wondered about that with Ako a while ago. They had concluded that a romantic relationship was bound to happen, if they went at their own pace. Something had happened in middle school, some event that ripped a tear in their relationship. The band was never disclosed the details, but if Yukina and Lisa’s shared smiles were an indication, then maybe the band didn’t need to know the past.

Never mind that, though. Rinko had more than enough to add to this conversation. It would have been the perfect way to segue her in. She was close with Lisa in this way, wasn’t she? Closer to Lisa than Himari was. With the way this conversation was going, though, it didn’t feel like that.

“I guess I got closer to Yukina around the start of middle school?” Lisa shooed Himari’s hand away. “Isn’t Afterglow around that timeframe? Moca mentioned the band formed around middle school.”

“Oh, my friend group goes way before middle school. We were all crybabies back then! But I guess we didn’t grow up from that too much,” Himari chuckled.

Ah. She missed it, didn’t she? Her opportunity to join in.

Rinko thought back to yesterday, and her talk with Ako about puzzle pieces. Her piece was within her palm, clenched underneath her fingers and hidden beneath the table. Its ridges dug into her skin. It reminded her of how awkward she was. Lisa and Himari had different puzzle pieces, knowing which one to pull out to connect with any one person. Rinko only had her single piece, and she felt increasingly aware of it, knowing just how inept she was at socializing.

She had trained her eyes downward to the floor. Maybe it would’ve been if she called off her part of the invitation when she still had the chance.

The words ‘ _sorry, Ako-chan’_ flitted through her mind when she noticed that other two weren’t talking as much anymore.

She looked up to find Himari and Lisa smiling at her, their presents in hand. Had they talked about exchanging gifts when she wasn’t paying attention? Rinko felt her face burn up as she realized they were waiting on her. Being in the center of attention like this, for the fact that she hadn’t kept up with what they were talking about, that wasn’t where Rinko wanted to be.

Opening her bag, Rinko quickly pulled out her wrapped present.

“S-Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts,” she offered.

“No apologies needed!” Lisa wagged a finger at her. Then with the reverence that only a teenager could have with a gift, the girl presented a boxed present to Himari. “Please! Take this present home with you today, Himari. I hope it makes you smile when you open it.”

“If it’s from Lisa-senpai, then I know I’ll love whatever it is!” Himari slid the box closer to her, throwing a peace sign at Lisa. The first-year turned to Rinko with a determined look in her eye. Ako wore that same expression often enough for Rinko to recognize it. Had Himari influenced Ako, or was it the other way around? An envelope was pushed in front of her. “This is my gift! It looks small, but I hope it’ll make you happy for hours.”

“Thank you very much, Uehara-san…” Rinko bowed her head. Were they sending their gifts off with good luck messages? She was the last to go. If nothing else, she could handle this much. The scarf that she’d made for Lisa should be warm enough for one person, but it had more than enough to share with another person. Of course, Rinko had made that with Yukina in mind as well.

Now. Just to convey that. “I made something… that you can share with Y-Yukina-san, if you’d like.”

“Aww, whoa,” Lisa accepted the present with both hands. She looked genuinely happy to receive something from her, even going so far as to hug the gift. “Rinko, you made this gift yourself? That’s really sweet of you and… amazing, too? Like, wow, a handmade gift from Rinko! I’m a lucky person.”

Rinko looked down, hoping her smile was too out of place. “I-It’s nothing.”

“Oooh, I’m both jealous of that but also already happy to receive something from Lisa-senpai,” Himari whined, bouncing in her seat a bit. “Let’s do something like this next year! Valentine’s, White Day, next Christmas too!!”

“You’re thinking way too far ahead! Enjoy the last few days of this year,” Lisa rebuked, and the two girls laughed. Was she allowed to laugh with them? Still unsure, Rinko opted to continue smiling.

“At least we got the main event out of the way now,” Himari stretched her arms above her head, slumping onto the table afterwards. The three of them reveled in that moment, having eaten brunch and having exchanged gifts. This was a moment that Rinko could do. That is, until Himari angled her face towards her. “Rinko-san… I hope I’m not being too forward, but we weren’t leaving you out, were we?”

“Oh! No…” Rinko wrung her hands together. She felt too cold too suddenly. “I’m just bad with keeping up with conversations. I-It’s not your fault.”

“I don’t think you’re bad at all!” The girl was quick to deny. Himari had straightened up once more. “We just, like, communicate differently, don’t you think? At least, that’s how it is in Afterglow.”

Differently. The word stuck onto Rinko.

She’d spent so much of her life wondering whether something was wrong with the world or if something was wrong with herself. Teachers would tell her parents at conferences that she didn’t socialize enough. A few kids egged her on why she never had anything to say, until they stopped approaching her at all. The world had done its fair share of implying that if anything was defected, it would be her.

“I-I know I have trouble with these things,” Rinko started. Her entire body felt cold. So frozen and brittle was she that any movement felt like a grand undertaking.

Lisa was the one who reached out to her.

A warm hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she didn’t let go, instead squeezing Rinko gently.

“I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we’re happy you agreed to hang out with us, Rinko,” Lisa spoke in a quiet voice. She didn’t move her hand away, so Rinko decided to focus on that. Lisa wanted her here. Lisa was happy that she was here. To the side, Himari was nodding vigorously.

“You don’t have to force yourself at all,” Himari scooted closer. She made motions to hug Rinko but stopped halfway, instead opting to smile at her. “Thank you for coming. And I’m serious about your gift. It’s something you can share with Ako-chan too!”

“Ako-chan…” Rinko murmured. Yesterday and everyday she spent with Ako cycled through her head. If the younger girl could help her come out of her shell any other time, then it would be the same here. “Actually… I talked to Ako-chan about today.”

“Yeah?” Lisa laughed. “Did she try and invite herself? I feel like that girl’s got too much energy jam packed in that tiny body of hers.”

Rinko’s lips quirked into a smile, and Himari and Lisa seemed to brighten up at that. On either side of her were two girls who, even though they could talk to anyone and be friends with whoever, had decided that they wanted Rinko. The coldness that enveloped her melted away. She felt warmth. The warmth spread from Himari and Lisa, and Rinko allowed herself to bask in it.

“She wanted me to text her how this was going,” she admitted.

Himari looked intrigued. “If you’re bringing that up, does that mean you have an idea of what you want to say?”

She nodded. Finding her phone within her bag, Rinko unlocked it and placed it on the table. Himari and Lisa leaned in to watch. Rinko swiped to her messages and selected Ako’s name. By the time that Rinko had typed and sent the text, Himari covered her face in embarrassment while Lisa watched Rinko with a proud look on her face.

What did Lisa have to be proud of Rinko for?

Maybe it was because, Rinko was realizing, she already had good friends who wanted her company. They’d been here from the start.

**To: Ako-chan  
From: Rinko Shirokane  
**You don’t have to worry for me anymore, Ako-chan.  
I’m with friends,  
and I think I can be happy.

…

John Cage’s  _4’33”_  was an experimental composition where no instruments were used.

The composition garnered reputation as an entire four minutes and thirty-three seconds of silence, but the heart of the piece was about using the natural sounds during the performance as the ‘music’. By holding off on the instruments, it wasn’t the silence that became louder, but the soft noise that would’ve otherwise been drowned out.

For Rinko, this piece fascinated her.

She understood it a little better now.

Rinko and Ako currently stood at an internet café. As it turned out, Himari’s gift was gift cards to their favorite internet café, securing several hours of gameplay. While trying out Overwatch was a different experience, they were MMO players through and through. They were here to grind in the latest patch in Neo Fantasy Online.

“Aw, Rinrin, you gotta tell me all the details! It sounds like it was really fun,” Ako hurried towards their computers, turning around as Rinko followed after.

It was easier to smile. In fact, her entire body felt lighter, as if meeting with Lisa and Himari had nudged all the weight off her shoulders. Would it be a little presumptuous of her to say that she felt a little more confident than she had just the other day? “We actually talked about Ako-chan a lot.”

“Huhh!! Now I  _really_ wanna know,” Ako stamped her foot down without any real force behind it. “Rinrin, don’t tease the full story like that. The narrative, the buildup—it’s too much for me!”

Rinko covered her laugh with a hand. “I’ll tell you more… after I pay for our time here, okay?”

“That’s a promise?”

“I promise.”

With that, Rinko turned around, wallet in hand. She was off to pay for their PC’s, until she felt arms come around her waist. Ako was hugging her from behind.

The girl rested her head between Rinko’s shoulder blades. “Um! I just wanted to say—that I’m proud of you, Rinrin!! I don’t go through what you do, but I think the way you face stuff that makes you scared or nervous… I think it’s amazing. I look up to you a lot.”

“A-Ako-chan,” Rinko didn’t know where to start.

Where did this come from? How should she respond? How would she  _accept_?

“I… I don’t know if I’m someone to look up to,” she left it at that, not knowing what else to say. “You said it yourself. I still have… a lot to work through.”

Ako merely shook her head.

“Nope! I look up to you, because I know you’re gonna do great things. And I’m gonna be there for all of it,” Ako declared like they were facts. She stepped away from Rinko after that, releasing her from the hug. “Anyway, um, I’ll let you pay now. I just felt that I had to absolutely say that right now.”

Whoa.

A rush of feelings surged through Rinko, like an electric shock.

Something about this middle schooler putting so much faith in her, over something so little such as being able to talk with friends, it felt like a weight rested on Rinko’s heart. It wasn’t a heavy weight. It didn’t hurt, and she didn’t feel crushed by it. No, if Rinko had to put a name to it, it would probably be happiness.

Rinko was happy that Ako looked up to her.

She didn’t deserve that high of praise, but Ako wasn’t lying. She was only telling Rinko her true emotions. And it was that—someone believed in Rinko. Someone looked at Rinko and thought to themselves that she’d be able to be more than who she was at the moment.

The first thing she did reach an arm to pat Ako on the head. “Thank you for telling me,” Rinko said, before heading away to the main desk.

As she did, Rinko trained her eyes to the ceiling, willing her tears not to come out. When her eyes watered anyway, she wiped away the tears. A smile blossomed on her face, and it refused to budge. How silly she must look to bystanders, tearing up and smiling all at once. For the first time in a long while, though, Rinko wasn’t worried about how strangers perceived her.

Because someone she knew believed in her the most, and that mattered much more to her than a lot of things.

Someday, she repeated to herself, Rinko Shirokane would do great things.

It felt right to hear.

**Author's Note:**

> Written to the Tamako Market OST, particularly やさしい雨降り, 放課後 (Piano solo), and ひなこの思い出.  
> Written for the [Bandori Secret Santa](https://twitter.com/BANDORI_SS2018) on Twitter. The prompt was essentially "Rinko, Himari, Ako, Lisa," with a focus on "preferably just a happy/content Rinko with maybe my other fave girls."
> 
> I wanted to send the message of treating yourself kindly through this story, and Ako is a core part of this message. That last scene... I think everyone deserves to have that moment, of having someone say 'I believe in you' and then thinking to yourself, "maybe I can do more, after all."
> 
> Thanks for reading, and happy holidays!


End file.
